Hope or Faith?

Do you have a hope?
Do you hope that one of these days, you will strike Lottery? Don't you hope for a promotion at work? Or hope for a news of 20% pay increment company-wide? Don't you hope to top the class in your biology class test or come in first in the school's annual Maths and Science Quiz?

Or do you think its better to have faith?

I always thought that having hope is the first step to success. Being able to dream of big things and dare to hope for it opens your heart to receive the success that might follow. And just recently, my theory was proven wrong.

Hope isn't all. In fact, hope doesn't mean that much afterall. Maybe hope is somewhat still needed to sustain a dream, but the most important factor that draws us closer to sweet success is none other than faith.

I had this bad experience just recently that I wanted to share it with everyone here.

Its more of a known fact that I have been fighting hard to get the "good" grades that I was hoping for. All along, I knew I didn't enjoy much of what I was doing, I was only hoping to prove myself. It became so bad, so bad that it started to spawn into an uncontrollable yearning to win myself. I was hurt because of that. In a recent test, I suffered a humilating defeat. I knew I had done my best.. but why are there still regrets?

All along my game, I was sustaining on hope. The hope to do really well. But I didn't know that the faith wasn't there. I thot I was self-sufficient. But I was wrong. The defeat hit me so hard. I was really depressed. I couldn't get to work ever since then. I lost hope.

I think its really easy to go off track. Well, I used to do pretty well earlier on in the session because of the presence of faith. But then success has this over-powering control in my heart that everything became mere hope. I lost my footing and let hope took over. I wouldn't say hope is a bad thing. It is good till some extend, but to get further in life, you got to have faith(and god of cos).

Why am I saying that faith is better than hope?
Let me try to explain the two words according to my own understanding. I may be wrong thou, humans do err... come on! :)

Hope is more of a human desire. A desire for something to be done? something to happen? For example: "I hope to get into the top management of my company" or "I hope to get a hunky boyfriend within 10 days". With hope comes expectations. With expectations come dissapointment.

While Faith is more of a trust in God. A trust and believe in him that everything will go the way he planned it to be. When there is faith, there wouldn't be doubt.

And getting back to my question again.. Why faith is better than hope?

Simply because man fail, but not god (isn't it awesome). That goes to say that hope may fail to get you to your desired destination, but faith brings you a long way.

I remember a pastor once said that our relationship with God is like an equation. You have got to fulfil your half of the equation before God will make the other half come true. So I guess, Faith in this case becomes the key variable. If "faith=0", no matter what numbers we multiply with it, we will still get 0, needless to say, balancing the equation would yield a 0 on the other side of the equation.
Hence the expression (0=0) ----> expressionless face.

I asked myself, since I believe in God, why is he putting me thru all these?
Simply because of his love for me. That goes for just anyone and everyone else. Every test that he put us thru is a step forward.. closer to him. At times of struggle, do you think He will forsake you? No, so be faithful and trust Jesus. Just like what mummy always tell me, Just do your best, and leave the rest to God.

Last sunday as i broke down and cried out to God.. Sally was there to pray for me. Thru her, God has send yet another important message to me..
"look down and just focus on putting the next foot forward. Do not look at your friends and compare with anybody. It is your own game. All you have to do is put the next foot forward, think about the very next step, do not think of how far more to go or whether you can do it or not. Recall those moments of victory you had? relive them once more".

Remember my previous blog was asking if I'm hearing from God.
Answer is, I close my heart from him by not having faith. Faith will bring about open communication. Only then, can he show you his way.

I know this test is not easy, but I am sure, with enough faith, I will clear the test. Only when I can overcome this test will I be ready for my next test to come.
(In any case if you are still unsure of what my test is, its about being able to be not over-concern about my grades)

I think the key points being highlighted to me in this current test is to be patient and be faithful. Trust myself and do my best. Don't you agree?

So, after reading all these, are you still hoping for anything?
Or would you rather have faith?

Alot of things here have been pieced together by me, I can only assure they are correct at the time of entry. Please feel free to correct my thots if you ever think they are so wrong.

Acknowledgement: Bits of the entry comes from conversation or mails with some great people like mummy and sally and of cos my pastors in Gateway City Church.

Please talk to me...

I think there is something wrong with my laptop these days... too much rubbish on it, causing it to hang on me.

Yeah, it can get really irritating.. and worst still, some programs just refuse to work. Darn.. not at this time of the year, baby. But it seemed that a reformat will only cause me more issue, I've decided to stick to it for the time being. Reformatting it just don't make sense now. With all the data that is loaded in it, no one ever bear to format it..

But anyway, its not a problem big enough to call for a reformat. I think it might not be even due to its problem but my problem.. My bad for running heaps of program on startup. Sheer laziness to get everything going without having to work on them. ARgh.

So I've been feeling really low these days. I'm really sick n tired. I just can't get going on anything. Now even "hello blogger bot" refuse to talk to me, I'm so stranded. I had wanted to post up pictures taken these few days. So don't blame me, blame tat bot! Exams are just round the corner and I have not even finish my assignments.. let alone revision.

I'm sort of de-motivated towards my goals. I'm just not exam smart, thats the point. Oh god.. oh god. Please tell me what to do. Am I not hearing you or am I refusing to hear from you.

Achieving, Achieved, Achievements

I felt somehow irresponsible to make that kind of remark.. "Humans are just like tat". Hey! Whats wrong with the rest of the humans when only of them has done wrong. So my conclusion is.. the rest of them didn't do anything wrong, but somehow stood in the picture and got blind accusation.

So yeah.. I take back my words. I'm really sorry if it upsets anyone from anywhere at anytime.

Morale of the story? It does pay to stand out of the crowd. At least you wouldn't get fingers pointing at you for things that you haven't done.

Alright.. Here is a complain yet again. I've been really bothered by this girl apparently. Whats wrong with HER(its a more specific term used instead of "their") mentality? I might have blog about this infamous person before in my previous entries, describing how irritated I got and its all thanks to her!

Oh well.. she did it again. As most of you readers would be avid PBL fans, I'm sure group projects are just nits and grits of your daily life (we should have got used to it by now). Yeah, I'm a huge fan of PBL actually. I love how the system would actually force people to do things out of the box, etc.. By this time of my life, I should have (theoritically speaking) got very used to projects and "Special cases" of ingenious team-mates. Indeed, every group project that I ever worked on is an experience of its own. All of these are amazing experiences that would contribute to character building. So don't blame me if I've got a "character of my own" :)

Anyway, I sort of deleted, instead of posting, what I've wrote in this entry. Cos readers might find it dry and irritating.. If you happen to be working right now, isn't it comforting to know that irritants don't only exist in offices? They are practically everywhere! (Anyway, since I've typed out those shitty stuff already, I felt better even if I didnt post it up.. Its not a matter of who reads your blog, its a matter of your ability in expressing yourself freely and be able to live up to it.)

In-lieu, I will blog about some of my achievements and those "yet-to-be-mine" achievements. Or perhaps just some etc etc stuff to get by.

This session has been great fun as most of you might have perceived from reading this humble blog. Yes indeed. Fun in many aspects. Acadamically speaking, I've done alright.. Presentation and project submission this friday. Following monday will be Thesis submission day. Next friday comes the submission of my Posters and etc for my Thesis. Last academic week of the session will see me thru a test and a Java project submission not forgetting a report for the whole session of work done in one of my software subjects. Wow.. I didn't know I have so much to do if I hadn't blog it out. Oh well, this happens all the time during this bit of the session. Thats the final countdown to exams. A good news is added on recently, my lecturer had sent me a mail saying that I've done really well in one of the exams I took before I went on holidays. It did cheer me up greatly, and to further bring up the spirits, that same day I got back a test script with 87/100 inscribed on it! Weeeee!

On top of the busy schedule, I did find time to go out and have some fun as well. Oh yes.. the gym and badminton bit always turns me on. No complaints about it. X-) I kinda make it a weekly affair to have a game of badminton or gym, usually both in a week. Gym is really a good place to be when you felt the burning effect of assignments or thesis. Badminton is good when you wanted interaction with the sane people. I haven got time for any this week. Thanks to group meetings and thesis work.. I actually had plans to sweat out in gym this friday, but little did I realise I had an appointment made last week to visit my friend. Oh well, tonnes of excuses always up my sleeves.

And travelling wise.. definitely more than last year. And this time, I had the chance to stay on for winter. This is gonna be cool.. COLD I mean. Haaha. Yeah, this period never fails to remind me of the really depressing time I had last year, sort of like a depression period for me, when my life doesn't seem to fit into the world.. and thank god I walked out of it. I remember running home straight after exams just because I cound't take the stress. Because of that, I've got a good scolding.. and thanks to the scolding, I know from then on, I do not have to trod this path alone. And the motto I've got out of this experience?

"Whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger"

My Uni-life is becoming more like my poly-life for some reason. Remember the days in CENT? Well, now in Uni.. I have one more club to remember. Thats the ICIS. Yeah, I'm running clubs yet again. I remember teling myself that I will not touch any clubby stuff in uni cos I badly wanted to concentrate. But now? Somehow, running clubs give me the motivation to put up a good fight academically. Yup, Full steam ahead!!! Talk about "clubbing life" huh! Heeheehee

I can vividly recall how I dread leaving poly towards the last bit of my poly-days in TP.. Now, I'm beginning to have the similar feeling here.. Leaving University can be even more dreadful. Its once again back to working society.. I don't know whats got into me.. I even started to think of doing my masters and even PhD?? Its just measures that could be taken to keep me away from heading back to 9 to 5 jobs. I think its a fear of heading back to the REAL world. I think I really enjoyed life as a student.. (except for the exams and assignment bits).. Heading back to offices just doesn't help me get a life.

I was chatting with a long time friend just back then. I was talking to her about this issue..
"live a life" and "work to live". To me, she has definitely chosen the first path, while I have to trot the latter. I'm glad that she is now enjoying her life. Sort of care-free. Whatever it is to come, I'm sure she would really treasure this period. Its alot on our character I reckon. She is not as career-minded as I am. Well, thats a good thing. She believes in "having enough" while I chose to believe in "having surplus". Its our choice afterall.

I was reading my research material the other day and came to notice a word that is spell the other way round (eg. murder-redrum). And as the spelling suggest, the meaning of the word is the other way round as well. So if I were to say that she leads a "simple" life, then I've got be a leading a "elpmis" life (please pronounce it as "alp-miss").

Anyway, thesis is calling for my attention now.. I've got to finish it today (pray hard), so I can get over it and get a good night sleep. ZZZZZzzzZZZZzzzZZZZzzz.

I can't wait till I see the end of my last exams. I badly needed a 2 full day dosage of "The Sims 2".. I had it installed in January, but since coming back to Wollongong, I only had an encounter with it. Nothing since then. This game just doesn't fit into my schedule. :(

Before I end it up, I would really love to pray for my readers again. While I was praying yesterday, something dawned upon me. "To be a better friend". My personal struggle has drawn me away from some friends whom I used to be close with. Remorse and regrets. And since I've always said that "I've chosen this path", then I shall be held responsible to mend it back to the way it used to be.

God Bless.

The last thing you will imagine finding in Great Aussie...Prata Dua and Indian Curry Chicken.. Posted by Picasa

Shiny Clean! Posted by Picasa

Uncle.. Prata two, no egg

I was watching the TV sometime ago when I heard this phrase:
"Humans are easily satisfied"

How true is that? Well, at least not for me. This is something that I definitely have to confess to. Anyway. Not being "easily satisfied" calls for the need to constantly improve yourself. It gets tiring after sometimes thou. But still.. this is human instinct.

Anyway, I have yet another thing to share tonight. As you might have guessed.. Prata! Its not only prata, but also the Indian curry by its side. Sitting in my living room now, thou that dish was done yesterday, smell of the spice still lingers in my living area. Ahh.. nice nice! Thanks to my hsemate for refusing to air the place. Even if I love the smell of the spices, I don't think its wise to "keep" it to yourself.

When innovation has done me proud once again..

Main Dish: Roti Prata

Ingredients:
  • Puff Pastry (1 slice can be cut into 4 portions)
Side Dish: Indian Curry

Ingredients:
  • 3 medium Carrots (chopped into big strips)
  • 1 huge Onion (sliced)
  • 2 big potatoes (cubed)
  • 2 chicken drumstick (Chopped into 3 pieces each)
  • 200g of chicken breast fillets (bite size please)
  • 1 packet of Indian curry paste
  • 440ml of Coconut milk
  • 1 table spoon of oil
The Expert says:
Well, I guess we should really start with the curry this time. Using a non-stick pan or pot, put in the oil first and stir in the Indian Curry paste, just for half a minute. Then dump in all the other ingredients except for the coconut milk. Needless to say, please leave the puff pastry alone in the freezer first. Its not easy to work with puff pastry skin once it is thawed. Back to your pot of curry.. Remember to mix the ingredients well with you paste, this would sort of give it a very nice and even taste later on. Then let it sizzle for something like 5 to 10 minutes. Time to add in your coconut milk then. Stir well and let it simmer for 20 minutes at least.. You have got to wait till your chick is cooked and potatoes are soft. I love softer potatoes, so I did take a longer time to cook this dish. Just before you decide that you are done with the curry, turn the heat really low just to keep it warm...

Time for Prata showdown! Its so easy to get pre-prepared prata from the supermarkets in Singapore, but not in Aussie thou. So what we need to do is to improvise and be creative! Instead of the normal Prata we get in SG, I used the puff pastry instead. Viola! It works! So what you actually do is to pan fry it till crispy brown perfection. You don't even need oil if you have a good 'O' non-stick pan. Taste exactly the same (or somewhat close) to what you get from the indian uncle in the Kopitiam.

Its really really nice to serve both the curry and the prata warm. Especially on a cold "pre-winter" night.

Anyway, how much does our prata cost nowadays?

Xiao mei.. lai..xiao xin, shao ah... $3 lai.. Posted by Picasa

Aunty, 1 more bowl please! Posted by Picasa

Soup of the Day: Ah Ping Bak Kut Teh

This is it.. I've done it yet again. Proudly introducing.. "Ah Ping Bak Kut Teh". Great game of badminton by it was ended abruptly by some mistake in court arrangements. Anyway.. it all ended well.. drools.. well yes, I met this Indian cutie hunk again. OMG! How cute is he! That mega watts smile and silly cute look on his face. Aww... What an inspiration to go to the gym frequently.

Awesome!

But anyway.. I'm really here to introduce my dinner tonite. Ah Ping Bak Kut Teh. Another simple-to-cook yet to-die-for dish. Brings back the fond memories of my mum's Bak Kut Teh.. Anyway, you have really got to read on..

Soup of the day: Ah Ping Bak Kut Teh

Ingredients:
  • Pork / Chicken (Beef will taste too strong to keep the original taste of the soup) chopped into slightly bigger than bite size. Marinate with the Chinese cooking wine
  • 1 Clove of Garlic (whole, slightly smashed)
  • Herbs Soup bag (Do not cut open)
Garnish and Flavourings:
  • A pinch of Salt
  • A dash of Pepper
  • Half a table spoon of Dark soya saucce
  • Spring Onions (chopped)
  • Fried Shallots
  • Two table spoon of Chinese Cooking Wine
The Expert says:
Bring a pot of water to boil. Add in your Herb soup bag and the garlic. In case you are wondering how to smash your garlic, simply use your knife and hit the garlic right on. You really don't have to chop it. Anyway, allow the soup to boil for another 15 minutes to bring out the taste of the garlic and soup bag. Add in the marinated chopped chicken and continue boiling for another 45 mins.

Garnish with spring onions and fried shallots on the top and serve while hot. Absolutely YUM YUM!

Seems easy? Yes it is. It sure is. Well, what are you waiting for? Get down to work and start cookin!

If I can cook, so can you! (hopeful.. hehee)

Hokkien Happy Meal. She's all smiles. Posted by Picasa

Burpppp... Oppps... Excuse me. Posted by Picasa

This Week's Special: When East meets West

Nice weather out there today, sure heightens my mood. I did some cooking today again. Well, I do cook every now and then, but today, I put in an extra effort to make things looks good. So its alittle bit more special.

Reading the heading.. "When East meets West". Sure sounds common. Yeah right. I'm sure it is. Taste-wise? Think twice. I wouldn't be bothered to take the effort to take a number of snap shots and go thru all those selection process for "just-normal-food". It really has got to taste a little special. And being a Hokkien, my dish does have a little bit of this hokkien taste in it (let your mind wander off into the heart of Bedok.. Market 85.... arhhhh..).

Today, just to honour my hokkien origins, I shall name this meal.. Hokkien Happy Meal.

Main Dish: Hokkien Spaggie

Ingredients Include but not limited to:
  1. Boiled Spaggie (A handful)
  2. A cup of Frozen Mixed vegetables
  3. Two Eggs (Beaten)
  4. One Chinese Sausage (Thinnly sliced)
  5. A stalk of Celery (sliced)
Garnish and Flavourings:
  1. Half table spoon of Canola Oil
  2. A couple of Garlic (Minced)
  3. A pinch of Table salt (Optional really)
  4. A dash of White pepper
  5. A table spoon of oyster sauce
  6. Chili Garlic Sauce for extra flavouring
  7. Drops of Italian Salad Dressing
Side Dish: Oven Grilled Chicken Wing

Marinates for the Chicken Wing:
  1. Half a table spoon of Oyster Sauce (for 1 chicken wing)
  2. A dash of White Pepper
The Expert says:
Before you start with the Hokkien spaggie, it would be wise to marinate your chicken wings before hand. Rub the Chicken wing with the oyster sauce and the pepper and allow them to sit in the fridge for a few hours, that would really help the chicken wing absorb the flavours. Wrap them in alumimium foil and refridgerate it. When cooking it, put the whole packet of foiled chicken into oven. Do not un-cover the chicken, this will help retain the juice of the chicken within the bag.

Now to the spaggie, first you got to heat up your pan with the oil in it. Then throw in the minced garlic, within seconds, the aroma should fill up your kitchen (provided your oil is hot enough). Then throw in all the mixed vegetables and stir fry till 80% cooked. Add in the sliced Chinese sausage and continue cooking. Pour in the beaten eggs and stir fry till it is mostly cooked. Now add in the spaggie, mix well with the other ingredient. Add the oyster sauce and white pepper and salt(optional) and alittle bit of water. (A little hint here, adding of water softens your spaggie and makes your noodle more appettizing). Fry till everything is almost dry and, needless to say, cooked. The chili garlic would look good by the side of the spaggie.

Chop your Celery at the end of all the cooking. Fresh vegetables should be cut and eaten freshly anyway. Top with drops of Italian Salad Dressing to taste.

I have this chilled snow fungus with red dates drink in my fridge, it goes absolutely well with the meal. Cooling for your body.

Now can everyone say..

"Yum Yum, give me some?"