I've been feelin rather moody these 2 days.. well, maybe things just got kept within me for too long and I just can't take it anymore.
I really hated myself for not being able to open up at times. I have this difficult in opening up my true feelings. Let me ask you this, who the hell on earth can always feel "NEVER MIND" and "I DUN MIND". I always choose to hide, rather than talk things out. Thats how a Chicken-hearted shit will behave I guess.
When I dun like something, I dun dare to voice out. And once I miss my chance of voicing out, I dwell in it. I feel sad. I will start to feel so left out by the world and would think that the world is a sucky place. Then I will start to get angry with myself over it.
I just hate this feelin. It keeps coming back to me over and over again. How can I ever get over it? When will I learn to say NO?
I just hated how some people comprehend the meaning of friendship. I just hated how some people would treat relationship. I just hated how some people would judge others. I just hated how some people who get close to me for some other reason more than wanting to be a friend. I just hated myself for whining in my blog and not taking any actions.
End of the day, I only dare to whine in blogs. When asked.. I always brush it aside saying its nutting. Perhaps this is really nutting compared to the problems others are facing. I'm just too kiddish I guess. I will never grow up.
Whats worst, I always make such comments, and yet, I do it all as well. Then again, I will push it off as "this is just human.."
I want to help. I really wanted to. But why dun people care about me as well? Helping at the expense of my own work? I dun noe, but I just felt so bad that people whom I go an extra mile to help, turns out not even caring would I even mean the basic work requirements. Selfish isn't it. I would love to help. I really do. But understand that I'm not a saint, I'm not some kind of straight distinction students you know. I need alot of time for my own work as well.
Why do I try to be so giving and end up feeling hurt? I dun noe y too..
But again, god has given me many many treasure in life as well. People like mummy, my family, all my true friends who really made a difference in my life. God has his way of making things work for me, and I'm sure of it. And of cos, those who fuck my life upside down and shit on it! Thanks..! Without their fucking shit, I would never realise those treasure by my side.
Just have got to have faith. Just a little more each and everyday.
A Singapore blog..
Going home is a thing that always seems to be on my mind, and I don't know why. I went to count again. I'm left with only 11 weeks over here. Soon, I will be back again.. See how time files.. There is still alot of things I want to do over here!! Aww..
Back to serious business, One major assignment this week to hand in, a mid term test next week, followed by another one in the following week. A major report+1 long writeup due shortly after. Ever ending reports to finish. Got to clear at least 2 this week. Packed all the way.. Wow! Action-Packed!
Today, a friend was telling me not to go home during summer, well, I wish I could actually. Its gonna be fun over here, we have lots of things in our "Must-do, Must-Visit" List. She knew I had to be back home this summer. So she was asking me when I will be back here again? I couldn't comment on that thou.
Thou I know its gonna be fun over here this summer, but I guess, home will be more fun! Yeah, great things to do, fantastic friends to meet up, I can smell parties coming my way man! Wooaah! Its kind of cool to be back in a place I used to call home. All I want is to snuggle up in my bed. Leech on that poor fella's wireless network. Oh man, its just some of the wonderful things you can do at home.
Alrite guys, get your pens and papers ready, I'm going to list out the food I miss in SG again. Here goes..
Somehow, these days, whenever I eat oranges, I would think of my mum, I rememeber when I was a kid, I hated fruits. She used to stuff me with an orange after dinner. I just hated it. I would complain about it. I would say I can't peel it, thats why I'm not going to eat it. When I eat it sometimes, I would complain saying its too sour, my poor mum had to finish it up despite the fact she can't take such acidic fruits. I feel bad of cos, but most importantly, I miss her making the little hole on the orange skin for me. I understand all she wanted was getting me to eat the fruit becos she didnt want me to fall sick or watever. So when people peel the skin of the fruit for me, I do feel very very very loved actually. Well, in fact, someone else actually did that for me sometime ago, its none other than my beloved mummy irene.
Last nite, I had a chat with mummy, and I almost almost almost cried. Really fortunate that god has brought her into my life. Its a real blessing to me. Just love her so much. The chat, althou short, had really warmed my heart. Well, again, its the quality time that we spend together, its not about how much time we can afford. Seemingly nowadays, little things do make me cry easily. I don't know why, I tend to get really emotional somehow. Might be a good thing, or bad? I don't know. I only know that I'm undergoing something call.. "Changes"
Recently, as you can see in my previous blog entry, I have been on this fruit craze! Yeah, I went over to the supermarket and got more fruits again! This time, its 3kg of oranges, 1 bag of apples and another bag of kiwis! I will be getting watermelon this coming sunday cos its gonna be on sale. Drools.. I just love water melon.
A few days ago, I had the porridge that "d/ling" (aka chewling) had given me. Thanks for it man! I love these instant porridge! I took the braised duck flavour one. Damn. The taste.. the taste! Oh god! Its good, I swear! And again, it made me think of my mum again. How I miss her braised duck. Well, its not the food that I actually miss, its actually the time we spend sitting down and eat the duck that made me feel so good. Before I came back this time, I did spend time sitting down with her to enjoy some roast duck thou. Felt really good.
Aww.. you wouldn't believe what I had for dinner.. its brocolli and beansprouts and eggs in mushroom sauce. All good kids eat their brocolli. So do I. And the highlight of the evening is my Oven-Baked Black Peppered Chicken Marylands. Oh heaven, its divine! The chicken, so tender and juicy. Sizzling hot and aromatic, promise to tantalize any tastebuds!
Now, let me share with you some reasons why all homes should have an oven. I'm not crapping, I've been living on things like these for weeks, and I would swear by the results!
Why is Oven a good invention?
First, its hassle-free. You can leave ur things inside and go back to your room and do 2 tutorial questions and go back to get your dinner.
Second, no oil needed. Absolutely no!
Third, it "squeezes out" all the oil. U will see how oily it is before.. U will feel good that u are only eating what is after. Try imaginging if u were to fry the same stuff, think of the oil thats inside, and think of how much oil u will add to fry it well. Eewww... In summary, just think of how much oil goes into ur body.
Forth, No washing Needed. U just dump ur stuff on a piece of aluminium foil, throw it in, bake it, remove it (as in removing ur food from the foil), dump it (and of cos dump the foil)!
Fifth, no skills needed. Dun imagine it as something that only pros can use. Its a really easy-to-deal-with appliance. Isn't thats the reason I can use it?
Anyway, after conquering Mt Keira, the next thing in mind is to conquere something to do with water and eventually air. My initial idea was scuba diving, but can't find anyone else as crazy as me thou. Then sailing came to my mind. Haa, yes, sailing.. if time and $$ permits, I will be heading for Lake Illrawarra on 17 Sept! So something air-borne, I have this hang-gliding in mind, maybe in October. It will be so exciting.. Well, all this all happen, if only time and $$ permits thou..
Long blog.. Heee just realised that.
Seconds by seconds,
I just felt closer to home and reunion.
Back to serious business, One major assignment this week to hand in, a mid term test next week, followed by another one in the following week. A major report+1 long writeup due shortly after. Ever ending reports to finish. Got to clear at least 2 this week. Packed all the way.. Wow! Action-Packed!
Today, a friend was telling me not to go home during summer, well, I wish I could actually. Its gonna be fun over here, we have lots of things in our "Must-do, Must-Visit" List. She knew I had to be back home this summer. So she was asking me when I will be back here again? I couldn't comment on that thou.
Thou I know its gonna be fun over here this summer, but I guess, home will be more fun! Yeah, great things to do, fantastic friends to meet up, I can smell parties coming my way man! Wooaah! Its kind of cool to be back in a place I used to call home. All I want is to snuggle up in my bed. Leech on that poor fella's wireless network. Oh man, its just some of the wonderful things you can do at home.
Alrite guys, get your pens and papers ready, I'm going to list out the food I miss in SG again. Here goes..
- Bak Gua - So long as it is authentic! Arrr..
- Bak Chor Mee - only from Bedok where you can get the best.. Slurpss.. 85 Market!!!!
- Froggy porridge - Geylang has a huge selection I think (I haven't had that when i was back)
- Durians - Simply love any type..
- Roti Prata - I really like it with curry.. love those really fluffy ones(I totally forget about that when i was back)
- Chicken Rice - Both my mum and mummy can cook really delicious chicken rice! (there is this particular store somewhere in along Changi Road, I must find it, Damn good, I swear!)
- Sushi - Someone hor.. promise me one hor.. (ahem.. ahem!)
- Mum's Yong Tau Foo soup - no where else but home
- Black Pepper Crab - Anyway lah! But I know "No Signboard" in Geylang serves pretty decent crabs, I'm gonna bring my family there when I go back this time round!
- Soya Bean Curd - Just anywhere will do.. My mum is so sweet that she bought a container of it and left it in the fridge to chill, just for me when i went home tat day. Aww.. she knows I only like it cold
- Nasi Lemak - My mum can cook it as well.
- A1 curry puffs - A little store in Eunos sells it.
- Curry Chicken - it can only be my mum's
- Kuey Chap - From the store in the market near my place
- Bak Kut Teh - My mum's! She made some for me on the day I went back to Wollongong! Aww.. so nice..
- Oyster omelette, Carrot cake, Char Kuey Tieow, Hokkien Prawn Noodle - all never part each other.. a must have at 85 Market!
- BBQ Chicken Wings & Otah - Awww.. I guess it taste the same everywhere.. but 85 Market would be a better bet.
- Dim Sum - I just love Dim Sum. The little store near my place has some really good ones, but not the varieties. So far, the best I ever had is in HK.
- BBQ Stingray - To die for... Alot of places have really good ones. Dun u jus love the chilli on it!
- Satay - Whats Singapore without satay? Waaahaaaha
Somehow, these days, whenever I eat oranges, I would think of my mum, I rememeber when I was a kid, I hated fruits. She used to stuff me with an orange after dinner. I just hated it. I would complain about it. I would say I can't peel it, thats why I'm not going to eat it. When I eat it sometimes, I would complain saying its too sour, my poor mum had to finish it up despite the fact she can't take such acidic fruits. I feel bad of cos, but most importantly, I miss her making the little hole on the orange skin for me. I understand all she wanted was getting me to eat the fruit becos she didnt want me to fall sick or watever. So when people peel the skin of the fruit for me, I do feel very very very loved actually. Well, in fact, someone else actually did that for me sometime ago, its none other than my beloved mummy irene.
Last nite, I had a chat with mummy, and I almost almost almost cried. Really fortunate that god has brought her into my life. Its a real blessing to me. Just love her so much. The chat, althou short, had really warmed my heart. Well, again, its the quality time that we spend together, its not about how much time we can afford. Seemingly nowadays, little things do make me cry easily. I don't know why, I tend to get really emotional somehow. Might be a good thing, or bad? I don't know. I only know that I'm undergoing something call.. "Changes"
Recently, as you can see in my previous blog entry, I have been on this fruit craze! Yeah, I went over to the supermarket and got more fruits again! This time, its 3kg of oranges, 1 bag of apples and another bag of kiwis! I will be getting watermelon this coming sunday cos its gonna be on sale. Drools.. I just love water melon.
A few days ago, I had the porridge that "d/ling" (aka chewling) had given me. Thanks for it man! I love these instant porridge! I took the braised duck flavour one. Damn. The taste.. the taste! Oh god! Its good, I swear! And again, it made me think of my mum again. How I miss her braised duck. Well, its not the food that I actually miss, its actually the time we spend sitting down and eat the duck that made me feel so good. Before I came back this time, I did spend time sitting down with her to enjoy some roast duck thou. Felt really good.
Aww.. you wouldn't believe what I had for dinner.. its brocolli and beansprouts and eggs in mushroom sauce. All good kids eat their brocolli. So do I. And the highlight of the evening is my Oven-Baked Black Peppered Chicken Marylands. Oh heaven, its divine! The chicken, so tender and juicy. Sizzling hot and aromatic, promise to tantalize any tastebuds!
Now, let me share with you some reasons why all homes should have an oven. I'm not crapping, I've been living on things like these for weeks, and I would swear by the results!
Why is Oven a good invention?
First, its hassle-free. You can leave ur things inside and go back to your room and do 2 tutorial questions and go back to get your dinner.
Second, no oil needed. Absolutely no!
Third, it "squeezes out" all the oil. U will see how oily it is before.. U will feel good that u are only eating what is after. Try imaginging if u were to fry the same stuff, think of the oil thats inside, and think of how much oil u will add to fry it well. Eewww... In summary, just think of how much oil goes into ur body.
Forth, No washing Needed. U just dump ur stuff on a piece of aluminium foil, throw it in, bake it, remove it (as in removing ur food from the foil), dump it (and of cos dump the foil)!
Fifth, no skills needed. Dun imagine it as something that only pros can use. Its a really easy-to-deal-with appliance. Isn't thats the reason I can use it?
Anyway, after conquering Mt Keira, the next thing in mind is to conquere something to do with water and eventually air. My initial idea was scuba diving, but can't find anyone else as crazy as me thou. Then sailing came to my mind. Haa, yes, sailing.. if time and $$ permits, I will be heading for Lake Illrawarra on 17 Sept! So something air-borne, I have this hang-gliding in mind, maybe in October. It will be so exciting.. Well, all this all happen, if only time and $$ permits thou..
Long blog.. Heee just realised that.
Seconds by seconds,
I just felt closer to home and reunion.
Shoppin!
Its been long I guess. That day since I posted the photos, I had the intention of blogging, but was so sick and tired..
Yeah, I fell pretty sick over the past few days. It was terrible. Had a cold cum flu, followed by the cough. It all begin last saturday, when I felt that something's not right with me. Started off with a giddy spell. I went over to Kiama on Sunday despite the fact that I wasn't well. It wasn't an act of wilfulness, trust me. By the time I got back to Wollongong, I was feeling terrible. I really shouldn't have gone there.
I mean I had enjoyed the trip thou, but at the cost my my health. And yes, for the next few days, it was hell. I was being told off by a great friend for doing such things, she knew of my reasons as well. She meant well. She was worried for me and has banned me from M&Ms for the week till I get well.
But I'm getting better already, cold and flu almost gone after self-medication. I'm only left to deal with the cough then. Well, I always take longer time to recover from cough for some reason. I was "told off" again for not wanting to see a doctor. :( how sad can that be.. I dun noe, I just hate to see the doctors. She was nagging and nagging.. Cos her boyfriend fell sick as well, and he refuses to see the doctor as well. She was complaining that both of us are so stubborn.
Anyway, I've uploaded some photos I have taken during my trip to Kiama. Oh, there is some place I forgot to take a snap of. Thats the Ice-Creamery. It was heaven.. I mean the ice-cream. Oh my god.. I have the macadamia nuts flavour and the Oreo cookie flavour.. how cool was that man! (Maybe thats y cough never recover so fast! heehee). That shop is a "Must-Visit" in Kiama! It serves about 40 flavours of ice-cream from the really common ones to those you will ever see in SG ones! But I assure u.. its just too good!
The other "Must-See" will be the blow hole, I've got a good shot of the blow hole blowing as well. Man, wat a great sight it was! I got some fruits at the fair, mandrines, fuji apples and naval oranges. Man were they great stuff! Its been a really fruity week for me, I actually finish a total of 3 mandrines, 6 apples, 3 naval oranges, 13 kiwis in 5 days. Thats a record breaking figure for me! OMG!
I went over to the mall jus now with a friend. It was kind of like our girls' day out. We had lunch together, went shopping, settle some medical issues and mobile phone stuff. Then hang around to look for some gifts. Just enjoyed ourselves so much. Seldom do we actually have a chance like this, enjoy 1 whole afternoon together, have a nice heart to heart talk.
Oh yeah.. just too good. Alrite then, going to get my dinner, having this really fantastic chicken wings tonite.. oh man, its delicious! slurps*** .. one of these days, I might make some for u, thats when I'm having a good hair day. Hehe
See ya mates!
Yeah, I fell pretty sick over the past few days. It was terrible. Had a cold cum flu, followed by the cough. It all begin last saturday, when I felt that something's not right with me. Started off with a giddy spell. I went over to Kiama on Sunday despite the fact that I wasn't well. It wasn't an act of wilfulness, trust me. By the time I got back to Wollongong, I was feeling terrible. I really shouldn't have gone there.
I mean I had enjoyed the trip thou, but at the cost my my health. And yes, for the next few days, it was hell. I was being told off by a great friend for doing such things, she knew of my reasons as well. She meant well. She was worried for me and has banned me from M&Ms for the week till I get well.
But I'm getting better already, cold and flu almost gone after self-medication. I'm only left to deal with the cough then. Well, I always take longer time to recover from cough for some reason. I was "told off" again for not wanting to see a doctor. :( how sad can that be.. I dun noe, I just hate to see the doctors. She was nagging and nagging.. Cos her boyfriend fell sick as well, and he refuses to see the doctor as well. She was complaining that both of us are so stubborn.
Anyway, I've uploaded some photos I have taken during my trip to Kiama. Oh, there is some place I forgot to take a snap of. Thats the Ice-Creamery. It was heaven.. I mean the ice-cream. Oh my god.. I have the macadamia nuts flavour and the Oreo cookie flavour.. how cool was that man! (Maybe thats y cough never recover so fast! heehee). That shop is a "Must-Visit" in Kiama! It serves about 40 flavours of ice-cream from the really common ones to those you will ever see in SG ones! But I assure u.. its just too good!
The other "Must-See" will be the blow hole, I've got a good shot of the blow hole blowing as well. Man, wat a great sight it was! I got some fruits at the fair, mandrines, fuji apples and naval oranges. Man were they great stuff! Its been a really fruity week for me, I actually finish a total of 3 mandrines, 6 apples, 3 naval oranges, 13 kiwis in 5 days. Thats a record breaking figure for me! OMG!
I went over to the mall jus now with a friend. It was kind of like our girls' day out. We had lunch together, went shopping, settle some medical issues and mobile phone stuff. Then hang around to look for some gifts. Just enjoyed ourselves so much. Seldom do we actually have a chance like this, enjoy 1 whole afternoon together, have a nice heart to heart talk.
Oh yeah.. just too good. Alrite then, going to get my dinner, having this really fantastic chicken wings tonite.. oh man, its delicious! slurps*** .. one of these days, I might make some for u, thats when I'm having a good hair day. Hehe
See ya mates!
Peaceful town, Kiama has won the Tidy town award, an award for town whose population falls below 20,000
The things that they sell are so much different from what we get in SG then. More on craft stuff.. Its interesting thou.. Then there was this band that played Theresa Teng's Moon represents my heart.. Aww, it was so heart warming, and
Just to show you how big the blow hole can be.. compare it with the [hu]man at the pathway.. Just look at how insignificant we are compared to the vast nature.
Needless to say.. I guess u guys are smart enough to figure out what this is.. Hehehe.. *Blink Blink*
This is it! Beautiful! Its just a small wave thou, but look at the effects.. I was so lucky to have capture this on my camera.. God, m I blessed! Many stood there the whole day and caught no shit on their cameras and videos! This is wat the blow-hole does, ocassionally, when very strong wave sets in, the water hits the rock surface at such a great force that it actually push the water high up into the sky. We aren't suppose to stand too close to it cos of the great pressure around it, lucky I got this 10x optical zoom camera! I was told that the pressure will actually suck u into the hole as well. Hehe.. Need me to further explain the formation of that rainbow?
This is called a blow-hole, its kind of a natural phenomenon caused by erosion of the rock by the waters. The waves are so strong that it eroded the coastline over years forming such phenomenon. Well, I predicted that this blow-hole will soon "blowup" with the continous erosion.
Cool man.. clear blue sea with clear blue sky, dun you think it just look like one of window's standard wallpaper?
I wish.. I hope.. I ask..
All comes back to me, myself and I alone. Yes, today, no names shall be mentioned, it will be something, between me and my dream giver.
I'm just not giving enough. I just lack that kind of patience. I'm just not sensitive enough. And I will again ask this.. "When will I learn?"
Well, nutting has been going wrong in my life. Its just kind of like a self reflection thou. I've been like having a hell lot of fun since I was back. So absolutely no doubts about it.
I was watching this great movie yesterday.. Ermm, I wouldn't say its fantastic, cos I personally find it a bit bloody actually. But I was really entice by it.. Overall still a good movie I guess! Not forgetting to mention its name.. "War of the Worlds" yeah.. I know its an old movie, but hey, I'm paying only 3 bucks for it, and I get to watch it on the biggest screen in Wollongong with good sound systems! Thats really worth it man!
Anyway, back to my own reflections.. Well, I guess it all begins in my heart.. Yeah, sometime ago, I started to have a doubt on myself. I asked.. "Will I stay true to my promises?" All I can say is, as much as I want to, I failed to trust myself completely again. I had doubt. I paused and asked again.. "Why?" And while thinking of the "why" I came to see my own character again.
I know I shouldn't doubt anything about myself. I jolly well know that this is me. I very well understood that I have to learn to accept myself for who I am. I knew it all. But why? Since I know so much, why then I still doubt anything about it?
I have always think that I could trust people whom I love. I thot I can give them complete trust. I have made it known as well. But still, I can't. Deep down, at times, I could still have doubts on them. Just why can't I trust people completely. And I do mean COMPLETELY. I can't. I still can't. Seriously, anyone who has been reading this, rest assured that I do hold doubts on you as well. I can't deny that. I know it somehow hurts you that I've said such things, but I would beg you not to ask me about the doubts I have. I always had doubts. Even on my family as well.
Having doubts is always the first step to kill a relationship. Yea, and apparently, I never good at maintaining relationship. I always had that problem. I make friends effortlessly. I break friendship effortlessly as well. I dun noe. But everytime a friendship is about to break up, I would always have some form of feeling, and many times, I just blog it out here. I dun noe how others might feel about it thou, but I just hope for a little freedom to be able to express myself.
I know, sometimes, I also use my blog to hurt others. Yea, I made people cry over it as well. Yes, I such a jerk. I know alot of times, I shouldn't say something, and yet I went ahead, rubbing salt on the wound.
You people would have realised that I've removed my tag box already. You might want to keep those comments till next time. Well, plenty of reasons as for the changes in my blog. I never do things without a reason. Erm, lets just say I seldom do that, for I can't be 100% sure as well, u see.
Oh well, its not that I'm a bad person. I do have a good side as well thou. I guess people might be thinking that I'm just trying to bullshit about some good things about me again. But well, Who cares. As of now, I only wish for 1 set of voice, the dream giver's.
Realise one thing, when I get really focus on a relationship, I tend to get really hardcore about it, I will go all the way to please people. Doing all sorts of lovely things etc.. And the rest of the world tends to get forgotten in a way. But good things never last long. Perhaps u know, this kind of FULL attention is there to offset my "short-attention-span" flaw. But apparently, this isn't really healthy and I guess many people might not really like it as well.
You see, personally, I oso dun really like such things. Cos it tend to make me look very fake. It makes me look like those fools who hangs around people for a reason that is not as simple as PURE friendship. Well, up to people to decide. I have to keep reminding myself to trust myself thou. Even if I can't trust myself, I should at least trust god.
I will always have doubt on myself until I find the real me, only then shall I accquire inner peace and attain my goals and fulfil my dreams. I'm not there yet, I'm not ready. Dream giver knows it. Every test I go through now is a preparation. When I'm ready, you will know, for I will be in sanctury.
I'm sorry. My biggest mistake is still my temper. I'm still not patient enough. I have a long way to go. Please forgive me. Love me for who I am, and not who I will be.
Bless you.
I'm just not giving enough. I just lack that kind of patience. I'm just not sensitive enough. And I will again ask this.. "When will I learn?"
Well, nutting has been going wrong in my life. Its just kind of like a self reflection thou. I've been like having a hell lot of fun since I was back. So absolutely no doubts about it.
I was watching this great movie yesterday.. Ermm, I wouldn't say its fantastic, cos I personally find it a bit bloody actually. But I was really entice by it.. Overall still a good movie I guess! Not forgetting to mention its name.. "War of the Worlds" yeah.. I know its an old movie, but hey, I'm paying only 3 bucks for it, and I get to watch it on the biggest screen in Wollongong with good sound systems! Thats really worth it man!
Anyway, back to my own reflections.. Well, I guess it all begins in my heart.. Yeah, sometime ago, I started to have a doubt on myself. I asked.. "Will I stay true to my promises?" All I can say is, as much as I want to, I failed to trust myself completely again. I had doubt. I paused and asked again.. "Why?" And while thinking of the "why" I came to see my own character again.
I know I shouldn't doubt anything about myself. I jolly well know that this is me. I very well understood that I have to learn to accept myself for who I am. I knew it all. But why? Since I know so much, why then I still doubt anything about it?
I have always think that I could trust people whom I love. I thot I can give them complete trust. I have made it known as well. But still, I can't. Deep down, at times, I could still have doubts on them. Just why can't I trust people completely. And I do mean COMPLETELY. I can't. I still can't. Seriously, anyone who has been reading this, rest assured that I do hold doubts on you as well. I can't deny that. I know it somehow hurts you that I've said such things, but I would beg you not to ask me about the doubts I have. I always had doubts. Even on my family as well.
Having doubts is always the first step to kill a relationship. Yea, and apparently, I never good at maintaining relationship. I always had that problem. I make friends effortlessly. I break friendship effortlessly as well. I dun noe. But everytime a friendship is about to break up, I would always have some form of feeling, and many times, I just blog it out here. I dun noe how others might feel about it thou, but I just hope for a little freedom to be able to express myself.
I know, sometimes, I also use my blog to hurt others. Yea, I made people cry over it as well. Yes, I such a jerk. I know alot of times, I shouldn't say something, and yet I went ahead, rubbing salt on the wound.
You people would have realised that I've removed my tag box already. You might want to keep those comments till next time. Well, plenty of reasons as for the changes in my blog. I never do things without a reason. Erm, lets just say I seldom do that, for I can't be 100% sure as well, u see.
Oh well, its not that I'm a bad person. I do have a good side as well thou. I guess people might be thinking that I'm just trying to bullshit about some good things about me again. But well, Who cares. As of now, I only wish for 1 set of voice, the dream giver's.
Realise one thing, when I get really focus on a relationship, I tend to get really hardcore about it, I will go all the way to please people. Doing all sorts of lovely things etc.. And the rest of the world tends to get forgotten in a way. But good things never last long. Perhaps u know, this kind of FULL attention is there to offset my "short-attention-span" flaw. But apparently, this isn't really healthy and I guess many people might not really like it as well.
You see, personally, I oso dun really like such things. Cos it tend to make me look very fake. It makes me look like those fools who hangs around people for a reason that is not as simple as PURE friendship. Well, up to people to decide. I have to keep reminding myself to trust myself thou. Even if I can't trust myself, I should at least trust god.
I will always have doubt on myself until I find the real me, only then shall I accquire inner peace and attain my goals and fulfil my dreams. I'm not there yet, I'm not ready. Dream giver knows it. Every test I go through now is a preparation. When I'm ready, you will know, for I will be in sanctury.
I'm sorry. My biggest mistake is still my temper. I'm still not patient enough. I have a long way to go. Please forgive me. Love me for who I am, and not who I will be.
Bless you.
I came and I conquered!
Aww.. This is a new achievement added to "Cheerene Wee"! Thats it man! I just conquered Mt Keira this morning! Yeah.. Well, not easy for me as a noob to this stuff! Well, I was told this is like going up and down more than 3 Bukit Timah(s) at one go! WTF..?
Ohh, its really fun man! I was tired out by the first 10 mins, Damn! It was the toughest part of the journey! It was a real steep "introduction", yeah, freak u off the mountain was its aim!
Then we climb up a long flight of stairs.. Some of it was kind of man-made stuff, while some are "natural" stuff that was formed over time. Then all the way up up up! I almost died! All shag out when I reach the first check point man! What a fantastic intro to the mountain.
The other part was made up of trails of different steepness. Some parts were pretty tough but others were much alright. Haa, these guys actually chose the harder way up! We actually followed a stream up the mountain. It was kind of dried up as it hasn't been raining for sometime. That was the tough part, this path wasn't the really "well-travelled" path by climbers. Its a really rocky area, and we have to go on all four to get up. The aim of this climb was to get dirty. Lucky I had been swimming when I was home.. It kind of give me a little advantage to it. But it was nutting as compared to the guys.. :( these guys are pretty tough man! They help me along too, thou at times, I choose to do it myself. Haaha. Its pretty much like the climbs u see on TV.. Yeah.. I feel like superstar! Hehe. I'm a tough babe and u know that!
In order to catch some of the fantastic view, I was brought to a spot which wasn't suppose to be a checkpoint thou, it was kind of discovered but some of my friends actually. Its just and open rock pointing out, not fenced up. Yeah, u might want to check out the photos later on. It was pretty dangerous thou, a slip brings u back to the foot of the mountain I guess..
I love that rock climbing part man! Its way too cool, I did have like one or two slips thou, Cool.. Lucky me! I was blessed. When I see the loose rocks rolling down.. It did send some shivers down my spine. But I was careful throughout thou! I still got unfinished task back home! Haaha
The guys were nice, they had to stop frequently because of me, and they help me along cos I m always slow. Haaha, feeling a little bad on my side, but they were really encouraging. Anyway, Thanks guys!
We gave those folks at the top a big scare as we emerge out of the greens. It seems like we were aliens! Everyone was so fascinated by us.. It made everyone at the top so lively! Haaha.. Then I was joking about it that if we never make it up, we will never be able to graduate from the Uni! It really got the folks laughing! The folks really made us look like super heros!
Oh, last nite was fun too, I was having dinner with my friends. We had thai food over at the mall area. Its a little Thai restaurant. Pretty decent food I guess. It was fun.. I had such a big fight with Anu.. Damn, he pinched me so damn hard! Gita had to grab him for me, while I gave a real hard kick at his butt. Crazy bunch aye! Fighting since we met all the way till I got home.. I'm not going to let him off next time I see him.. Pray hard he doesn't meet me in Uni..
Have fun! I'll be having my fair share overe here! Oh, I'll be going to Kiama in 2 weeks time! I actually thot of going down to Sydney next week too, but lets see how things go.. It gets tiring to play so much sometimes..
Right.. So following this entry, you will see some of my photos taken today! Yeah, should view from bottom up! And its about time to change the skin.. Haaha... It takes time.. lol.. In other words, I'm just lazy.
Ohh, its really fun man! I was tired out by the first 10 mins, Damn! It was the toughest part of the journey! It was a real steep "introduction", yeah, freak u off the mountain was its aim!
Then we climb up a long flight of stairs.. Some of it was kind of man-made stuff, while some are "natural" stuff that was formed over time. Then all the way up up up! I almost died! All shag out when I reach the first check point man! What a fantastic intro to the mountain.
The other part was made up of trails of different steepness. Some parts were pretty tough but others were much alright. Haa, these guys actually chose the harder way up! We actually followed a stream up the mountain. It was kind of dried up as it hasn't been raining for sometime. That was the tough part, this path wasn't the really "well-travelled" path by climbers. Its a really rocky area, and we have to go on all four to get up. The aim of this climb was to get dirty. Lucky I had been swimming when I was home.. It kind of give me a little advantage to it. But it was nutting as compared to the guys.. :( these guys are pretty tough man! They help me along too, thou at times, I choose to do it myself. Haaha. Its pretty much like the climbs u see on TV.. Yeah.. I feel like superstar! Hehe. I'm a tough babe and u know that!
In order to catch some of the fantastic view, I was brought to a spot which wasn't suppose to be a checkpoint thou, it was kind of discovered but some of my friends actually. Its just and open rock pointing out, not fenced up. Yeah, u might want to check out the photos later on. It was pretty dangerous thou, a slip brings u back to the foot of the mountain I guess..
I love that rock climbing part man! Its way too cool, I did have like one or two slips thou, Cool.. Lucky me! I was blessed. When I see the loose rocks rolling down.. It did send some shivers down my spine. But I was careful throughout thou! I still got unfinished task back home! Haaha
The guys were nice, they had to stop frequently because of me, and they help me along cos I m always slow. Haaha, feeling a little bad on my side, but they were really encouraging. Anyway, Thanks guys!
We gave those folks at the top a big scare as we emerge out of the greens. It seems like we were aliens! Everyone was so fascinated by us.. It made everyone at the top so lively! Haaha.. Then I was joking about it that if we never make it up, we will never be able to graduate from the Uni! It really got the folks laughing! The folks really made us look like super heros!
Oh, last nite was fun too, I was having dinner with my friends. We had thai food over at the mall area. Its a little Thai restaurant. Pretty decent food I guess. It was fun.. I had such a big fight with Anu.. Damn, he pinched me so damn hard! Gita had to grab him for me, while I gave a real hard kick at his butt. Crazy bunch aye! Fighting since we met all the way till I got home.. I'm not going to let him off next time I see him.. Pray hard he doesn't meet me in Uni..
Have fun! I'll be having my fair share overe here! Oh, I'll be going to Kiama in 2 weeks time! I actually thot of going down to Sydney next week too, but lets see how things go.. It gets tiring to play so much sometimes..
Right.. So following this entry, you will see some of my photos taken today! Yeah, should view from bottom up! And its about time to change the skin.. Haaha... It takes time.. lol.. In other words, I'm just lazy.
All of us who came all the way to the top of the world! There, time to get down to the REAL world..That was the tough part man! Damn! Haaha
The Princess Highway.. Something fit for Her Highness, Princess Cheerene. It leads to Sydney, the only south-ward vehicular road.
Aww man! Look at this.. View of the city from this amazing check point, this wasn't exactly a proper check point thou, I had to sneak up to some small edges to get this one.. more to come!
That was our first check point.. And I thot this was already a really good view.. Oh God, you should have seen the ones I took at the top!
This week..
Alrite, finally some time for updating..
Well, I guess I have been away from home for the whole week, never ever end my day before 9pm everynite. It was kind of hectic, but I seriously enjoyed it! Goodie Good u know!
Monday and Tuesday were the worst! Lessons from 8.30am to 8.30pm! Filled up each day with heaps of labs and more labs! How cool was that! Really busy and tied down with work.. labs.. reports..
Wednesday was slightly better! 8:30am to 6:30pm + one movie.. Madagascar! Wooo.. that was funny.. I like to move it move! It ended off early.. I guess it was around 9 I think.. I can't really recall much.. cos for whole of thursday, we have been singing this phrase like a million times man!
Thursday suppose to be really short day for me actually, but we spent it doing up our presentation stuff.. So it kind of like ended in the afternoon like 4pm. Then I had guest over at my place! Woo.. it was Gita! It was really a nice afternoon. She did some work, then started with her presentation practice. After awhile, we just stop and chat. Oh, I gave her the little gift i got for her from KL.. she loved it so much that she gave me this big big hug.. Aww... So sweet.. I'm really happy that she likes it sooo much. And this silly pig went round showing everyone, keep repeating that its from me, and keep on saying how much she loves it! Silly pig. But it was actually meant for her birthday, but I couldn't keep it from her anymore. Well, its kind of typical of me.. not being able to keep things from people. Around 7 +, we went over to Carona's place for a surprise party! It was Carona's Birthday! It was so nice of them to give her this little surprise party. I'm so glad I was on the invitation list as well.. So nice.. I got this silly lion hat as well..so cute, it just look so cute on my head! Aww man! I will make sure I get a crown on my birthday as well.. This willl make me a true blue princess..
Oh, today, friday, 5 august 2005! Haaha, Just came back from a really nice dinner at Ahmad's Place.. a kebarb restaurant.. It was good.. the rice was really good.. Aww man! Terribly nice. We had learn to drink traditional persian tea as well.. it is so different.. BUT THE RICE WAS EXCELLENT! This morning actually started off with meeting Bobby to help him with some work then. Followed by my own group meeting, then followed by lectures! Oh, later came my presentation. Did fairly well in it, not much comments from the tutor, except that we did pretty alright! 1 assignment down! Woopee!
Tml will make a trip to the uni again to help Bobby with his work. Then will see how things go then make my further plans for the day. Otherwise, it would be study and study! Too much fun can kill u know..
Haaha..
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Part 2.. Special charm..
Gita is so cute man! She was talking to me that day.. She said that I have this special charm in me that really attracts lots of attention.. It really makes me wonder.. heheehe
She was talking to me about crushes.. Specifically, mine. Yeah.. all ended with a sad ending, for now, I pretty much dislike him for who he is.. He's a changed man.. no longer the one that I secretly admired since I was 18.. But still, I couldn't really bring myself to hate him thou he is pretty hateful now.
Well, for now, I know he is happily attached in some part of the world, doing things that he likes. I'm cool with that, no worries about it.. I'm not that bad either, Thou not attached, but enjoying every bit of singlehood.. It sure give me tonnes of freedom to play around with simply any one.
Gita asked me if I still had feelings for him? Well of cos, I'm human too.. how can I actually forget about a guy who was once so important to me? She was telling me that this guy is such a DICK HEAD! And, again, I hear my own words being used on me again.. Both of you aren't meant to be together because u are simply too good for him..
Well well.. I think she's right.. I hop so.. haaha
Poor Gita is sick now.. just pray that she will be well soon and will get back up and fight with me soon! Just get so irritated that I have no one to fight with me..
Batt running low again. will blog again soon thou! Seeya ppl!
Well, I guess I have been away from home for the whole week, never ever end my day before 9pm everynite. It was kind of hectic, but I seriously enjoyed it! Goodie Good u know!
Monday and Tuesday were the worst! Lessons from 8.30am to 8.30pm! Filled up each day with heaps of labs and more labs! How cool was that! Really busy and tied down with work.. labs.. reports..
Wednesday was slightly better! 8:30am to 6:30pm + one movie.. Madagascar! Wooo.. that was funny.. I like to move it move! It ended off early.. I guess it was around 9 I think.. I can't really recall much.. cos for whole of thursday, we have been singing this phrase like a million times man!
Thursday suppose to be really short day for me actually, but we spent it doing up our presentation stuff.. So it kind of like ended in the afternoon like 4pm. Then I had guest over at my place! Woo.. it was Gita! It was really a nice afternoon. She did some work, then started with her presentation practice. After awhile, we just stop and chat. Oh, I gave her the little gift i got for her from KL.. she loved it so much that she gave me this big big hug.. Aww... So sweet.. I'm really happy that she likes it sooo much. And this silly pig went round showing everyone, keep repeating that its from me, and keep on saying how much she loves it! Silly pig. But it was actually meant for her birthday, but I couldn't keep it from her anymore. Well, its kind of typical of me.. not being able to keep things from people. Around 7 +, we went over to Carona's place for a surprise party! It was Carona's Birthday! It was so nice of them to give her this little surprise party. I'm so glad I was on the invitation list as well.. So nice.. I got this silly lion hat as well..so cute, it just look so cute on my head! Aww man! I will make sure I get a crown on my birthday as well.. This willl make me a true blue princess..
Oh, today, friday, 5 august 2005! Haaha, Just came back from a really nice dinner at Ahmad's Place.. a kebarb restaurant.. It was good.. the rice was really good.. Aww man! Terribly nice. We had learn to drink traditional persian tea as well.. it is so different.. BUT THE RICE WAS EXCELLENT! This morning actually started off with meeting Bobby to help him with some work then. Followed by my own group meeting, then followed by lectures! Oh, later came my presentation. Did fairly well in it, not much comments from the tutor, except that we did pretty alright! 1 assignment down! Woopee!
Tml will make a trip to the uni again to help Bobby with his work. Then will see how things go then make my further plans for the day. Otherwise, it would be study and study! Too much fun can kill u know..
Haaha..
------------------
Part 2.. Special charm..
Gita is so cute man! She was talking to me that day.. She said that I have this special charm in me that really attracts lots of attention.. It really makes me wonder.. heheehe
She was talking to me about crushes.. Specifically, mine. Yeah.. all ended with a sad ending, for now, I pretty much dislike him for who he is.. He's a changed man.. no longer the one that I secretly admired since I was 18.. But still, I couldn't really bring myself to hate him thou he is pretty hateful now.
Well, for now, I know he is happily attached in some part of the world, doing things that he likes. I'm cool with that, no worries about it.. I'm not that bad either, Thou not attached, but enjoying every bit of singlehood.. It sure give me tonnes of freedom to play around with simply any one.
Gita asked me if I still had feelings for him? Well of cos, I'm human too.. how can I actually forget about a guy who was once so important to me? She was telling me that this guy is such a DICK HEAD! And, again, I hear my own words being used on me again.. Both of you aren't meant to be together because u are simply too good for him..
Well well.. I think she's right.. I hop so.. haaha
Poor Gita is sick now.. just pray that she will be well soon and will get back up and fight with me soon! Just get so irritated that I have no one to fight with me..
Batt running low again. will blog again soon thou! Seeya ppl!
