If I can stop my life just like how I would stop a song in my MP3 player.. wouldn't tat be great?

I just feel so stressed out somehow. I dun noe how to go on by myself.. Why is it that I can't break down like others? Why am I suppose to be strong? Why am I so stupid?

Sometimes I just feel like hugging someone and cry in his amrs. I simply couldn't go on like this.. I'm going crazy again.. I just feel so upset that I have to act all the time.. Y couldn't I show my real feelings to the world.. At times, I just want to speak out, but i can't.. At times, I just want to lead my own life, but I can't..

I just have to do what people tell me to.
I just have to wait for commands.
I just have to follow blindly.
I just have to work work work.
I just have to act stupid.

I am not suppose to stop working.
I am not suppose to use computer till late at nite.
I am not suppose to behave childishly.
I am not suppose to be lazy.
I am not suppose to spend on the things i really want.

and the list goes on...

The world dun owe me anything.. Neither do I owe it anything! I'm really stressed out but this kind of life.. Boring life! Somehow my directions have once again been blurred.. I just can't convince myself that I'm doing the rite thing.

I just wan to be selfish for once. I'm not going to help anyone anymore.

This afternoon, I told jenny that I'm really angry and upset at office.. She told me to endure.. Hahaha.. of cos I know tat.. but the thing is.. Y shld I? Heard of this before.. "ren shan bei ren qi"?? Hahaha.. kind souls always get bullied. Thou I'm not exactly a kind soul.. But at least I dun behave in such a manner like tat sucker, finding faults in other people's work just to prove that she had done something...

But I'm really glad to have her as my supervisor, well at least we can share almost anything, no need to hide from her. Glad that she is always giving me the support i need and making my days at office more fun! Not forgetting the rest of those funny bones in office! Hahahaa.. I will sure miss them when I leave.

I really want to do something I like.. I just dun wan to be anyone's paupet.. I want to have a say..

I'm really tired.. and I need a break badly.. pls save me..


Between now and then, till I see you again, I'll be loving you..

Love,
Me