Cheerene's mistakes!

Back from RELC, near orchard area! What a stupid place, really hard to find that place! Settled some of my application stuff!

Received a call from colleague, asked me to join them for dinner tonite at Fullerton! OMG.. Where do i find $$ to go to such places! Hee.. I do need to save up seriously for my future.. Hahaha! Not that i'm that anti-social.. But its just that i felt that i dun have the ability to spend so much rite now! Actually thot of going out with a bunch of buddies for supper at some hawker centre(thats the most i could afford..) Haa.. But i guess it cancelled! Guess its all fated that i should save up abit more! Haahahaha.. u see.. even heaven is trying to lend a helping hand!!

Then went back to orchard for lunch, had some Taiwanese snacks, a set of ToriQ Bento and LJS for lunch! Then went shopping around Orchard.. Then went home on bus 65! Hahaha.. My sister kind of wanted me to take bus 7 to go Eunos.. But i was lazy! Actually deep down, I was actually hoping to take bus 7, as it would take me back to my Secondary school.. Chung Cheng High School(Branch).. Miss that silly little school! Miss my friends and teachers over there! Its a feeling.. no words can describe! I'm forever indebted to all my teachers over there! (Opps... not forgetting all my lecturers in TP!! I guess i owe them even more.. hahaha)

On my way back, board this stupid bus 65! Guess wat.. The aircon isn't working! (Shouldn't I just follow my sister and take bus 7)OMG.. Its 3pm in the afternoon.. Weather is killing everyone.. What a time to have such stupid breakdown! Luckily i had some brouches in my bag, took them out to fan myself throughout that 1 hour journey(there was a traffic jam in that area)!! I fell asleep pretty soon! Oh well, it has kind of become a habit, no matter how long or short my bus journey is, I will always catch a few winks! Hee..

But sad to say, I wasn't able to sleep very well.. For the very fact, I haven been sleeping well so the past week! Just can't stop myself from thinking! Just felt very selfish! I dun even consider much about my family before i make any decisions.. Selfish isn't it?? Yes.. I'm too selfish! I put myself before everything, everyone, every shit! I noe every well that my family cares for me.. I truly apperciate it! But my actions always suggest otherwise! Well i still have 1 month to think about it! Once everything is decided, there will be no turning back! From there onwards, I will embark on a brand new chapter in life!

Now back to my yesterday's blog! I was saying that i was abandoned by hope!! Haa.. Have u guys read Jestin's blog! I guess i was totally wrong about my concept! Yes.. she is rite, our hopes dun abandon us, we are the ones who abandon them! Perhaps i'm not so lost afterall, Just that I was clouded by dark thots! All i need is to be more focused!

I need to wake up now!! Yes.. this very moment!! I can no longer be a baby! I can no longer cry in the arms of mummy whenever something happen! I gotta be brave! I gotta be on my own! Mummy cannot be always there for me.. In fact, no one will always be there for anyone! I got to be strong! I will blaze my own path, a path that is different from all others!

"Its alrite to have hopes.. Its ok to dream! The only thing wrong is that you dun work hard to make your dreams come true!!" - Cheerene the Great -

Jestin was also talking abt Letting go. . Difficult but challenging task. Yes, letting go is never an easy task! Its a skill that people might even take a lifetime to learn! Some simply dun.. Haa! Difficult as it may seems, but i do see alot of people succeeding in this quest! So how impossible can it be?? But i can't deny that its a v.challenging task (as mentioned by jestin)! Haa.. From my point of view, "Letting it go" is always associated with "forgive and forget".. These 2 phrases somehow, to me, shares the same meaning(from certain point of view)!!

Perhaps i should share with you what my mummy irene shared with me quite sometime ago.. "...you may forgive, but you can never forget... But whenever such memories comes back, it no longer hurts u so much like it use to be..."

Haa.. Dun u just find mummy great, to be able to come up some such sentences! Its no easy task! I found that very true.. No way i could forget them! So whenever such memories come back to me, I would just laugh at it, instead of fuming away! (oh btw, getting angry or upset is bad for health) But i still need to admit that i couldn't 100% fully rid myself of such problems.. (saw my previous blog?? The way i scolded my brother.. Haa..)but rest assured that i'm working on it!!

Mummy irene also told me this.. (I believe that i have wrote this in my previous blogs, but i still would love to share with all of you again) "In order to love others, you first got to learn to love yourself.."
I always believe in sharing my happiness with everyone.. So only when i have this sense of happiness in myself, only will i be able to share it with the rest! (This is the reason behind my joining of ODOL-Paying it Forward.. simply because i felt that i have something i could give) And when you are happy, things will just fall in place for you!!

I guess i've just vomitted out some of my most precious lessons i've learnt from mummy.. Truly grateful for her words..

Haa.. Can this be consider a good deed done?? Mummy has pass on her words to me, and in turn, i have pass it to someone else.. Hmm.. Isn't this the whole idea of paying it forward? What do you think, Lorsorene(Jestin's new name)? Hee.. Not to worry too much on your MP.. your 2nd supervisor! He will be kind to all the groups under him!! He is not too bad afterall!! Haa.. Thats sort of tested and proven! Hee.. I would rather he give harsh comments on our projects, rather than those judges giving those comments.. and that kind of grades! Well, to think of it! Its actually a VERY GOOD news that he is your 2nd supervisor! I'm not going to tell u the reason here!! Perhaps next time when we meet online! Hahaha.. I guess no one is smart enough to think of this YET! Hahaha.. I can assure that you will jump with joy after hearing this piece of good news!

"One person does a good deed for another, something the person cannot do for himself and, indeed, may not expect. The recipient then goes out and does likewise to someone else and the chain of goodness continues."

Haa.. Y do i keep repeating things i've said in my previous blog entries? Guess I've have inherited this "nagginess" from my dear mummy irene! Haa.. opps.. I'm just kidding! Hee..

Alrite, its way past dinner time.. but i'm still very full(even after so much vomitting)! Can't really eat now! Guess i had too much drink jus now!

Hmm.. seems that my words make more sense today.. Haa!


Between now and then, till I see you again, I'll be loving you..

Love,
Me