The Truths

Not a fastastic week so far.. and doesn't seem like a good week ahead.

So what has been going on???
As you might have already guess.. or was already told.. I will be having my exams soon.. sooner than I have expected.. Hmm.. Exams are kind of packed into a week..

• Starting from Monday with my ECTE363-Communication Theory
• Followed by CSCI205-Development Methods and Tools on Wednesday
• Adding on to the stress is ECTE333-Digital Hardware on Thursday
• Ending off the whole session with the last and final paper on Friday, ECTE313-Electronics

That will conclude my days in Uni as a Third year Engineering Student. Many would have gazed at me in awe.. This girl is barely 21 (almost there thou) and she will be graduating in a year to come. And the question sets in.. Will she ever become an Engineer???

Well, if you have any idea.. please tell me thou, cos I don't really know. I have ponder about it, grilled myself with questions after questions. I can't think of any similarities between me and an engineer. Apart from being grouchy.. I simply can't find any more common traits between the 2 of us.

Another little thing I would like to highlight is that it seems to me everyone is pretty interested to know when I will be back home again.. Let me disclose the little secret (the not so secretive secret).. I will be back in Singapore on the 7 Nov.. Most probably touching down by latest 10pm.. Does it satisfy everyone's craving now?

Somehow, I do fear going back home. Thinking about it, it does mean that I will lose alot of freedom. That simply means that I will not be able to hang out really late.. Again back to the "latest by 12 midnight" lifestyle. How sad can it get? It will no doubt means that I will have to sleep at home everynight. Without questions that I will get the comfort of my own bed, but at the expense of the warmth of my friends (no naughty ideas at this point of time)? Doesn't seem to worth it(to me at least).

Perhaps given the authority to choose every single thing I do over here, it somehow occured to me that I will fall into the control of my mum again. I do dread that feeling somehow. The worst thing about going back is that I will have to spend time adapting and fitting myself in a once-familiar home. I am just too used to doing things without having the trouble of informing anyone and everyone.

Thats just me I guess.

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Today, I was told a horrible truth..

I was told that I am the reason behind the rise in the numbers of lesbian around. I was indeed dumb-founded. How can I ever be the reason behind it when I'm not even one.

Trust me I have nothing against them (lesbian or whatever names you might give them). And no offences to anyone reading this. I am not one (currently). So how did I became the reason?

Today, my friend came talking to me online, she started complaining about her boyfriend. Almost on the verge of breaking down. For some reason (which is rather not apparent to me), she would always find comfort in my words.

She was just telling me, she only hope that her boyfriend would understand her half of what I do. She will always tell me this. There was once, she asked me.. "Why aren't you born a guy? I would dump my boyfriend and go out with you then.."

Sometimes I do get shock like this. Oh come on, I'm a girl, thats why I can understand a girl's feeling. What a girl wants, and what she needs. You can't blame me for being more understanding that your boyfriend.. The other day, jokingly, I went to my friend's sister and asked if I could date my friend if I ever turn into a boy.

"NO"

came the reply. I was again, shocked. Of course, I had to know the reason... Turns out that her sister wanted to keep me for herself. Shocking indeed.

Interesting isn't it..

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I am beginning to feel tired and sleepy now.. almost day break.. Better go catch some sleep, going to meet darling Gita for lunch later on.. Catch u guys some other time..

I have much more to blog actually.. but I guess.. Till next time..

Seconds by seconds,
I just felt closer to home and reunion.

1 more week to exams..

Yeah, exams are round the corner.. I think I'm screwed.

I was so pissed by myself, I actually lose temper and raise my voice at Gita.. I felt so upset for the whole night.. I couldn't really sleep.. What actually happen was that I went over to her place at 10pm, sat down n do my work, but got screwed by the calculation bits.. I was so fuck up man! Then I couldn't take it anymore. I dun noe why I felt so stress thou. I was stuck with the calculations for ages.. I panic when I couldn't get the right solution.. In fact, I slept at 3am the previous night just because I can't figure it out.. So it ended up, the lecturer uploaded some fucking wrong answers.. Well.. That cost me like dun noe how many fucking hours wasted.

I didn't really mean to raise my voice, I felt so sorry right after. She had only wanted to help me thou, yet I can be such a jerk to talk back.. After awhile I calm down, I did apologise. She gave me a hug and told me this...

"If I don't understand, who else will?"

Damn, it really struck me hard.. I couldn't sleep the whole night cos I was so upset with myself. Yet again losing temper at my friends. I did the same before.. and almost lose the friend I really treasure. Why didn't I learn my lesson. Why do I keep hurting the people whom care for me.. I'm just dumb...

Gita told me, whatever I know so far, will be more than enough to get a pass in every subject.. To a certain extend, she is right. The other day, I was just telling her about one of my subject... So far, for the grades I get for all my work in that subject, I've already pass the subject without having to sit for the exams. She is just a great friend... someone too good for me I guess.. I felt so unfair to her at times, when she has to go thru all these shit with me.. I msg her this morning.. so afraid to see her reply, I turned off my handphone, set my MSN to offline mode.. I dun noe, but I think I have really hurt her so much..

I should have know that something is going to happen to her.. Well, for the past 2 days, I have been having dreams about her as well. Maybe that was a warning to me.. but still, the warnings fell on deaf ears. I have hurt her once again.. I keep thinking for the whole night.. even thot of it the very moment I open my eyes this morning. Maybe we should keep a distance.. cos I don't know if I'm still worth her care.. Some how, the fear of hurting her again has really grip me hard..

I have no courage to face my very own friends.. the people whom care so much for me.. I dun want to hurt my loved ones anymore.. I dun wan to lose my cool and raise my voice at them again... Just leave me be.. at least till the end of my exams.. I dun noe when I will flare up again.. I dun noe when I will raise my voice again.. This is really freaking me out big time.
Just let me be alone...

Seconds by seconds,
I just felt closer to home and reunion.


I'm sorry..

I'm back!

Aww man.. 1 test cleared..

Who the fuck trying to freak me out.. I dun lose out when it comes to patching of circuits man! I was good! Fuck your ass! Haa.. But sad to say, I still didn't finish the test.. I guess, I can barely scrap thru with a pass.. I pray hard man! Oh boy..

1 down, 3 more to go for the week.. 2 more coming tomorrow.. I can't help but to worry about it.. Tests are mean stuff.. Screw my ass then scare the shit out of it! Arghhh.. Fuck it!

I just need some extra confidence booster!

I was away for the weekend as some of you might realise.. I didnt get online then. Kinda doing my test preps over at darling's place... Ohh, it was so much fun then.. Darling Gita even cooked for me, oh yes, it was my favourite indian curry.. Everyone treated me like a stuff toy then.. Giving me hugs, more hugs, and more hugs.. and not forgetting those kisses.. Awww.. Can never understand how horny these people are.. But it was so much fun with everyone.

They love playing with me.. Oh, they even help me with plucking my eyebrows.. dammit, they even wanted to wax it man! Woahh.. might as well dig my eyeball out! But we had fun.. Oh fuck, and this morning.. guess what, Gita said the worst thing to me.. "oh, so finally wearing a bra today ah.." Oh boy, can't imagine how much I blushed... Well, since we are all girls there, I didn't bother to put on ahem ahem.. and anyway, its weekend, they deserve a break don't they! It just gets abit akward when one of the girl's boyfriend came over..

But it does pay to be alittle horny, cos it was indeed my horniness that help her housemate with her physcology assignments.. Oh yea, sex, condoms and satisfaction.. That was my idea... maybe I shouldn'd be doing engineering afterall.. Duhx.. wat a time to realise the fact. Everyone knows the fact... Maybe Creative Arts is really my cup of tea??

Who knows.. if I have really gone for Creative Arts then would I have actually met Mr. M then? Maybe not..

Yeah, I was being tortured by Gita's housemates... Being grilled by them over and over again. And guess what today, god gave me another chance to talk to him again.. Mr. M left his dear calculator in the lab after test.. (oh, damn him for not waiting for me after the test..) But anyway, we are going to have a meeting right after the test. So its alright.

After the meeting, he actually help me with some of the programming for one of the subject.. did I mentioned that he is a very good student? Oh yeah.. if back in TP, he would be under those Director List or whatever you might call it.. I can't recall what they call it over here thou. But anyway, he is one smart ass.. who work the hell out of everything.. Very good at hardware electronics, programming microchips. What else can I say.. He is just so smart...

Received emails from home.. My mama wants to talk to me then.. She wants a party for my 21 bday.. Oh boy, I can't actually believe that.. How sweet is that? Guess I have to come up with my guest list soon, so I can get things settled even before I touch down.. Let me ponder about it then..

Such a pity that Darling Gita, Curry Brother, and Didi Anu cannot be with me then.. Damn! I want them!!! I want them!!

Hey, taken abit too long to write here.. got to do some work on the test already... embracing myself in the warmth of test.. Yeah mate.. Fuck 'em all!

Ta!

Seconds by seconds,
I just felt closer to home and reunion.

Last week's happenings!

Hey yoz fellas! I'm back again for a long blog....

Realise I haven been blogging for a long time man.. and yes, so much actually happened over these days..

Fun started dun noe since when? I guess I was having too much of fun.. Say maybe starting from Friday. I dun noe how, I can really recall how I ended up in Gita's place.. Having fun, crapping.. and as usual, started to gt a little jiggy with it.. Yes, really jiggy I mean. Oh come on, we are all girls... Whats so wrong about it? Curry brother drop me home after the nite of jiggy action..

The next morning, I woke up late for my trip. I was the group leader for the day, and I was almost late for it.. But lucky I got there jus 2 mins off my planned timing. The trip was good. I had fun, food, friends and guys. Yeah.

Later the evening, I got back to Wollongong, rushed home to bath and dress up for darling's 21st bday party. Then Curry Brother came to pick me up. We are alittle behind time thou, so I had to call up Gita baby and fake up some excuse so we will have enough time to go to the restaurant to settle our little surprise. I had my bouquet and the big board there and not forgetting our Chocolate Mud cake..

When time comes, we brought out the stuff... Gita darling was so touched.. she immediately grab me a gave me a big hard hug.. I was so touched as well. But what matters to me, is that she likes the gift. Well, if someone is to spend such long time making a gift for me, late nights after late nights.. Injuring yourself again and again. I would be touched to tears as well. You guys should have seen the deep cut on my hand man! Looks abit ugly now thou. Hehe.

Anyway, over at the restaurant, I had some good seafood and fine wine.. Hey, I pay good $$ for them man! But it was good. I dun noe why, I drank alittle too much then. Those guys were so shocked. Cos I used to tell them I seldom drink. And when they saw the way I gulp the wine.. they were pretty scared. I had 3 or 4 glasses of wine. Gita darling was alittle tipsy after her first one and a half glass, so she poured the remainder into my glass then. Seriously, I was alittle tipsy after my first glass as well, cos we are taking it before meal, so its pretty bad for me. But after food.. oh man.. feeling so good..

It was nutting like "drink-drank-drunk" stuff.. its more like.. "drink-drink-and-still-drinking" stuff.. Curry brother was the sort who goes drinking every weekend before he met Gita darling. (its a good change for him). U guys should look at his expression when I ask him for a drink. He asked me.. "Oie, Chinese Sister.. what did u do when you are in Singapore?" .. He didnt really believe me when I claimed that I seldom drink.. Then just before we go to bed, I took a shot of Jamerson.. They all had a good time laughing at me and the way I drink.

We had fun all day all nite. I continued drinking the next day as well. Cos we actually stayed over for 2 nights. Man.. its seriously very funny man. We are kissing all over and all day all night long.. It was just so funny. Man.. I should say I was being kissed all day all night long. All our dirty and horny jokes.. They had a great time saying that I was "horny 24/7" . I shan't explain more.. U guys know me well enough. Hee.. Sure u do! We were discussing about sex and body parts all day. Cos the other day me and Gita darling were watching this porn video at Curry brother's place. He was out to uni, so both of us hide in his room and watched it. Its something like "10 easy steps in Making love.." Man.. the video was funny and really interesting cos there was this man, teaching this girl how to make love.. We came to a conclusion that the girl wasnt a virgin, and the whole video was screwed. Shit man!

Then we have krispy Kreme Dounuts all day. It was a gift from Nabilah to Gita darling. Gita sure had all the fun, food and gift.. but most importantly, it was out of love from all of us.

Another thing that was happening recently to me. Its about Mr. M then. Yes, I begin to realise his presence too. I felt so funny when he is around me. The other day, I was just joking after our meeting.. so I asked him along for lunch.. And it really shocked me when he agreed to go together with me n Gita. I was dumbfound. I seriously never expected him to come along. Then we had a nice chat.. That was when the signal really occur to me. He kept looking in my direction when we sat together. Gita's Sister joined us as well. Then when Mr. M left, she joked at me as well. Aww.. I was so embarassed that I had to run to the toilet, cos my face was turning red.

But anyway, I have to work now... Seeya!

Seconds by seconds, I just felt closer to home and reunion.